Coming of Age Ceremony
Recently, I was approached by one of the youth in our program’s care who had been with Spirit of Our Youth since he was five years of age, and was now entering his teen years. He wanted to find out if we could conduct a “Coming of Age Ceremony” on his behalf. After giving it some thought, I told him that we could do such a ceremony — But from that moment on, I was both excited and skeptical about the ceremony. The boy advised me that he would not be able to take the life of the animal, and so we had to find a different way to complete that portion of ceremony.
I wondered if I could pull the ceremony together as we would typically take a younger person out into the wilderness for up to four days for a ceremony life this. We would go into nature, all the while teaching him about his culture, language, ceremony and most important of all, coming of age. A Coming of Age Ceremony in the city? It would prove difficult as there is a requirement for the youth to take the life of a deer and to skin it, dress it and prepare a feast with the animal.
I set out to find an Elder to advise me, and I came upon a Nakoda Sioux Elder named Tom. He and I talked for sometime about the ceremony, and our expectations and requirements. Tom said we must first smoke and pray on the request, and invited me out to his sweat lodge in the river valley. As I found my way to Toms sweat lodge, I noticed it was surrounded by poplar and willow trees alongside the river, and it was peaceful. The feeling of tranquility escapes me quickly however as I realize the sweat lodge is outdoors and its cold and the wind is biting.
I handed Elder Tom my protocol and my tobacco, and asked him for prayers for the youth and requested his help conducting the “Coming of Age Ceremony. Tom spoke on the importance of following tradition and preserving our languages and customs. Tom said although he was Nakoda Sioux and the youth was Cree, the teachings are very similar and it is only the languages that are different. We smoked the pipe and as Tom conducted the sweat lodge ceremony, the seeds for the “Coming of Age Journey” had been planted.
I met with Tom several times over the course of the next few weeks planning and working out the details. There was an added sense of urgency as we needed to complete the ceremony before the youth’s voice broke and he began to grow into a man. On the requirement to kill a deer, we both agreed that was not possible in the city, as we would still need four full days for the ceremony. Time was not on our side, but Tom assured me it would work out and said “There is much work for you to do”. He told me that I would need to find an elder from the Cree community to host a completion sweat lodge, and to also host a feast and a giveaway.
I met with a youth worker and child welfare agency and explained what we wanted to do they supported the idea agreed to host the feast for the youth. They also pointed me to an Elder who could assist in the final sweat lodge and pipe ceremony. I found my way to Elder Lawrence’s home In Maskwacis. Lawrence invited me to participate in a sweat lodge ceremony he was having, and I grabbed my tobacco and protocol and jumped right in. He talked for sometime on the importance of keeping our ceremony, traditions and language alive, and was pleased that I was helping a child from his community.
I was surprised to learn that Elder Lawrence conducted the youths naming ceremony many years ago. I thought to myself, how fortuitous. I advised Lawrence that the Elder conducting the teachings in the city was a Nakoda Sioux elder. He echoed Tom’s feelings and said that this was good, and “although our languages are different the teachings are the same”.
Lawrence said to me “Get going, you have much work to do once you have completed the teachings. You must bring the boy straight to the sweat lodge and begin the feast in order to finish the ceremony. I returned to the city and began to finalize the plans with the youth, team lead, Social agency and of course Elder Tom. After several months of planning we were ready to begin — Only one more sleepless night.
It was a cold November morning when we set out into the river valley to embark on a coming on Age ceremony. We met Tom in the river valley, and were greeted by a warm handshake and ushered into a small building where he immediately sat us down, it was cold in there as there was no fire going. Tom spoke to the teen about his journey, about making good life choices, his responsibility and expectations as a man and most importantly keeping his culture alive. The Elder then prayed for us, and sang a song and advised the boy that this will always be your song. We then continued our journey.
As we walked through the trees, Tom explained the importance of each tree, how each was important to Nehiyaw people, what their medicinal and spiritual values were to us. We came upon a ceremony site, and Tom helped the teen split wood and taught him how to build a fire. Then he spoke about the importance of fire to our people and our way of life, and the connection to creation. Once the teen built up a good fire, Tom advised us to warm ourselves up as we would need it. We followed Tom for sometime along the river valley and came to a thicket of willows.
Here Tom explained that because the teen cannot kill a deer we will teach him about “rabbits” and how to snare them. Tom and then began to show the youth rabbit foot prints and tracks, and how to identify trails. We walked deeper into the thicket, and Tom began to teach the youth how to make a spring-loaded rabbit snare. I was impressed, I had not seen such a snaring method since my own uncle taught me forty years earlier. Tom stated, if we catch a rabbit tonight we will make a rabbit stew to celebrate your teachings. The elder looked at me “We may need a back up plan for the offering if we do not snare a rabbit”. The next morning Tom checked the snare no rabbit — I was on it!
As we set out on day two, Tom took the youth and began to teach him how to make a drum with elk hide. He spoke about the important relationship between man, animals and creation and why we must always be respectful of such relationships. Once the drum was completed and drying, Tom showed the youth how to properly handle a knife, and how to safely use it while hunting and fishing. Once the drum was dried, he then handed the teen the drum and sang him a song honoring the four directions. Now for the issue of the stew. I finished preparing the rabbit stew and quietly thanked the Italian bakery for the frozen rabbit. We ate the stew, and Tom said my work is done now you must go to the sweat lodge and honor your family with a feast.
The next day we arrived at Elder Lawrence’s residence in Maskwacis, myself, the youth and his best friend who wanted to tag along and support him. We all entered the sweat lodge and as there was only four of us there, we had lots of room in the sweat. Just then, eight teen boys and a man from Maskwacis entered the sweat lodge, they said we are here to support the boy in his journey, it was a beautiful moment. After the sweat lodge was over, we were directed to the community center where a feast was prepared in his honor.
We sat on the floor in a large circle and smoked the pipe. The Elders prayed, and we shared a feast of traditional foods such as fish, berries, and moose meat stew. The Elders then each took turns speaking about the importance of preserving our culture, ceremony and language. They encouraged us to continue working with the youth in a good way. Then the women of Maskwacis held a giveaway in his honor, and thanked everyone for attending. The youth was then gifted a small knife so that he could always be reminded of his teachings and responsibilities as a man — The Coming of Age Ceremony was complete.
— Marcel Desjarlais, WJS Canada Spirit of Our Youth